That precious hand ...
I prayed that I would hold it loosely.
So many times, I thought about the newborn stage with anxiety over MY baby. Then I'd hear the voice of the Holy Spirit: no no no. He's not MY baby. He is God's baby, entrusted to me for a time to steward well. I prayed that I wouldn't NEED him or try to use him to meet my needs. Just like marriage is such a struggle when I look to Zack to meet my needs, motherhood wouldn't have gone well if I had looked to my son to meet my needs. That wasn't Abraham's role, either. I also prayed that he would grow up to be a man, not a mama's boy. I will never understand why he was taken from me, but he was never really mine to begin with. God answered my most frequent prayer, swiftly--my son will spend eternity with Him in Heaven.
[ONLY] Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Hebrews 13:8
I am most definitely grieving, and I'd give anything to be celebrating my son's first month with us today instead of remembering his first and last day. Still, I know God is good, and I trust Him.
