one year after Asia

A year ago, I was headed to Asia. I had just finished my first year working. I was exhausted and a little sick from the race to finish the school year and simultaneously packing and preparing a presentation I would give in Asia. 

The trip started out rough and continued the same way as I spent much of my time either sick or afraid. Although it's easy to remember the bad, there was SO MUCH good. 

I sat arm in arm with my best Asian friend as she realized that "Jesus is perfect" and chose to give Him her life. I got to encourage and be encouraged by new friends who have a hard road following Jesus, persecuted by their government, their education system, and their own families. I watched a mother cry with joy in a hospital when I told her that her son was going to be okay. I looked people in the eye in a dark, dark place, and prayed for them. 

Y'all, why me?! Why me, a first year in my career, going to Asia, where there is no one in my career field, to teach people about normal speech and language development in children? Why me, advising doctors at the top of their field on how to treat children's speech and swallowing disorders? I was neither qualified, prepared, nor experienced enough to earn those positions, but God somehow used me to help just a little bit. 

He prepared these works before I was even born (Ephesians 2:10).

How fortunate I am to have those experiences and to live in a place where (for now) I have religious freedom. 

Yesterday morning, I was reading in Psalm 130, and it took me back. 

If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities,

O Lord, who could stand?

But with you there is forgiveness,

that you may be feared.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,

and in his word I hope;

my soul waits for the Lord

more than watchmen for the morning,

more than watchmen for the morning.

Psalm 130:3-6

The photo above, I took early in the morning on the day we left Asia. It was a difficult trip, and I couldn't wait to go home. The very last night, the power went out at my friends' apartment (they prepaid for electricity), so we couldn't charge our phones or play on the iPad and we slept in the heat, way up on the 22nd floor. But that sunrise meant that the night was over, we could see (!!!) to pack, and we were finally going home. 

I don't deserve to live in the USA or to have a Bible or to have a family who raised me in a Christian home. I certainly don't deserve God's forgiveness. If He marked my iniquities, I would earn eternity in hell. But with Him, there is forgiveness. Praise God! 

growing older and the gospel

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I'd be back soon with some thoughts on growing older and my goals. Truthfully, I've been working on posts for a while, and I just can't get it quite right. So I'll start here.

As I've written before, I'm not crazy about birthdays. There's nothing I hate more than people singing happy birthday to me! Especially the last few years, birthdays have been worse. And better. Some things get better with age, and I'm beginning to understand what others have told me about the mystery of the gospel.

Each year, I grow in deeper relationship with my Savior. I've come to realize recently that we don't ever get past the gospel. Jesus justifies us when He calls us and we rely on Him for our salvation. Sanctification, however, is a life long process. I want to be like Jesus, but I know I will never be like Him while I live on this earth. Only when I am in Heaven in my new body will I be fully sanctified. 

Why, then, did I think that I wouldn't sin so much now? Why did I think I would be past this point? Why did I think there was something more to the Christian life, beyond the gospel?

I realized that I'm not the only one that thinks that way when I heard my pastor say the same thing in his sermon two weeks ago. (view it here; Acts 9 from March 2; watch it all, but he mentions this after about 29:20)

The gospel applies to everything. If you are in a Bible believing church, you probably hear the term "the gospel" in reference to many things. Whether or not you hear it all the time, it's important to stop and remember what the gospel is. How would you explain the gospel in your own words? (I love hearing different perspectives; please comment!)

In my own words, the gospel is (or should be) the lens through which I view everything. God has always existed, and He created man in his own image, for his own delight. Man sinned, rebelling against God, and thereby introduced death into the world. We all sin (Romans 3:23), and the cost of sin is death (Romans 6:23). God sent his son, Jesus, to live a perfect life that we could not live. Jesus was God's plan for redemption from the beginning. He came to the earth both fully as a man and fully as God. He bore the wrath for our sin on the cross, descended into hell, and rose from the dead. Jesus defeated death and made a way by which we could be saved. He is the only way (John 14:6). He calls to us and we respond (Romans 10:9,10), but is only by his grace that we may be saved, not of ourselves (Ephesians 2:8).

God credited me with Christ's righteousness, not because of anything I have earned. I know I cannot and do not work to earn salvation, so why do I think I should work to earn his love after I've been saved? Although God adopted me into his family, I am still human. I have sinful desires, and I sin. There will never be a point I reach in my earthly life when I don't sin.

But I should not despair. My sin has been nailed to the cross. Jesus paid it ALL. Yes, I continually repent. In doing so, I see my sin more clearly and then see God's love for me more clearly. I need Him EVERY hour. The more I realize that, the more I seek Him, and the closer I get to Him. He wants us to go to Him with every concern, every need. Perhaps that's why we don't ever get it perfect on this earth. If I didn't need Him any more, I wouldn't get to enjoy Him. So, every passing year, that relationship gets sweeter.

To be continued ...

waiting

As I mentioned before, my small group went through this Advent study together through the season this year. The lessons that stood out to me most were those from week 1 and week 5, lessons about waiting. Israel waited for the Messiah, and we are still waiting for his second coming.

We talked through some things each of us is hoping for in her life, but the true promises from God's Word that we wait for come down to waiting on Heaven. If you are a child of God, you wait for Him to come back to earth and you wait for eternity with Him.

In our waiting, we must remember that God's timing is not like our timing, and we ought to live holy and godly lives (2 Peter 3).

I wait for my Savior at Christmas, and I wait every day for his return, for the fullness of the glory of God both in heaven and here on earth. I look forward to my heavenly body in times of pain and sickness. I long for eternity, knowing Him fully and seeing what I know now by faith. More immediately, I want to see his glory in life's little moments: realizing I've finally forgiven what I could only let go with his help, being loved when I don't deserve it, seeing friends healed, beholding his magnificent creation, opportunities to share the gospel, divine connections with others, deep and abiding love that only comes from God.

What are you waiting for?